So yeah,I'm in XI'th grade now.Feels all grown up-ish and all.
So,the other day,I was listening to this song.Called "Both sides,now."
IT'S AMAZING,if you know what I mean.And that,coming from a person who listens to a song 15 times before she rates it as good,well..you get the point here.
Also,it just took me 2 replays to like the song.It's THAT good.
So,our school starts from 30th.
I kinda felt bad,in the beginning.
I was kinda beginning to cave in,shutting myself out from the rest of the world,and schizz.It was a dark,dark,place,and I feared I was going to drown in my own darkness.
Yes,the world wouldn't have noticed.I like to be extremely secretive about my feelings.My mask is a reinforced,hardened one,with expressions of steel.
Yes,here and there you'll catch glimpses of my lonely smile peeking out.Sometimes I just feel like screaming my lungs out at the end off a cliff.
Ironically enough,my own voice comes resounding back at me,bouncing off the own dark walls,the impenetrable prison,that my mind is.
Yes,we'll all turn insane one day.Insane,because destiny is predetermined.No matter what course we take,we're going to end up at a crossroad all over again.
Insanity,versus oblivion.
Wouldn't it be great,to just sink back into the recesses of your mind and float in pure,calm,unadulterated stillness?
Sometimes music helps me to run away from the chaos.When I put those earphones in,and shut out all the other meaningless,unimportant sounds,it feels like heaven.It feels like..bliss.The meaningless things,shut out and it's just "me and my lights",to help me get by.
I'm in a mess,my mind is in chaos,and most nights I cry myself to sleep,because of either a) Utterly meaningless people whose lives don't really matter to me(Bleh xP)
,or b) people who are interwoven into my life so drastically that one little thing they do hurt me this much.
I'm a very twisted teen.Most people just say "what would you know?You don't have any problems at all" when I try to think about myself,for a change.Yes,I'm not always awesome.There are times when I'm so lonely,blankly staring at the sky,with stars twinkling feebly,as I wonder,if I'll be able to love again.
Yes,I have been scarred.First loves aren't something you forget so easily.And when I love,I love passionately,without any trace of adultery or whatever crap that is.It's like a disease,fast spreading among people of our generation.
People nowadays are very vocal about their feelings.But I- Idk.
I'm like this.I'm very shy,and uh..I don't like inconveniencing other people,neither do I like to hurt them.
I wish somebody who was considerate,and caring,and someone who could be at par with my retardness showed up.Although I'm actually very gentle on the inside,and that's a side I don't show to a lot of people.
It's like I'm lost,in a crowd,waiting for that one person to bump into me,to find me.
Are you the one?Can you please heal me?Can you stop myself from losing my mind?
Maybe one day,I'll fall asleep,and I won't wake up normal ever again.I'm scared,you know.I don't know what'll happen to me,and I most certainly don't want to drown.
Save me,from this mess.Please.
It's like I'm alternating between Reality,and my dark subconscious.
I need my light.Or I'm going to lose myself.
So,the other day,I was listening to this song.Called "Both sides,now."
IT'S AMAZING,if you know what I mean.And that,coming from a person who listens to a song 15 times before she rates it as good,well..you get the point here.
Also,it just took me 2 replays to like the song.It's THAT good.
So,our school starts from 30th.
I kinda felt bad,in the beginning.
I was kinda beginning to cave in,shutting myself out from the rest of the world,and schizz.It was a dark,dark,place,and I feared I was going to drown in my own darkness.
Yes,the world wouldn't have noticed.I like to be extremely secretive about my feelings.My mask is a reinforced,hardened one,with expressions of steel.
Yes,here and there you'll catch glimpses of my lonely smile peeking out.Sometimes I just feel like screaming my lungs out at the end off a cliff.
Ironically enough,my own voice comes resounding back at me,bouncing off the own dark walls,the impenetrable prison,that my mind is.
Yes,we'll all turn insane one day.Insane,because destiny is predetermined.No matter what course we take,we're going to end up at a crossroad all over again.
Insanity,versus oblivion.
Wouldn't it be great,to just sink back into the recesses of your mind and float in pure,calm,unadulterated stillness?
Sometimes music helps me to run away from the chaos.When I put those earphones in,and shut out all the other meaningless,unimportant sounds,it feels like heaven.It feels like..bliss.The meaningless things,shut out and it's just "me and my lights",to help me get by.
I'm in a mess,my mind is in chaos,and most nights I cry myself to sleep,because of either a) Utterly meaningless people whose lives don't really matter to me(Bleh xP)
,or b) people who are interwoven into my life so drastically that one little thing they do hurt me this much.
I'm a very twisted teen.Most people just say "what would you know?You don't have any problems at all" when I try to think about myself,for a change.Yes,I'm not always awesome.There are times when I'm so lonely,blankly staring at the sky,with stars twinkling feebly,as I wonder,if I'll be able to love again.
Yes,I have been scarred.First loves aren't something you forget so easily.And when I love,I love passionately,without any trace of adultery or whatever crap that is.It's like a disease,fast spreading among people of our generation.
People nowadays are very vocal about their feelings.But I- Idk.
I wish somebody who was considerate,and caring,and someone who could be at par with my retardness showed up.Although I'm actually very gentle on the inside,and that's a side I don't show to a lot of people.
It's like I'm lost,in a crowd,waiting for that one person to bump into me,to find me.
Are you the one?Can you please heal me?Can you stop myself from losing my mind?
Maybe one day,I'll fall asleep,and I won't wake up normal ever again.I'm scared,you know.I don't know what'll happen to me,and I most certainly don't want to drown.
Save me,from this mess.Please.
It's like I'm alternating between Reality,and my dark subconscious.
I need my light.Or I'm going to lose myself.
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