This one goes out to you,Oi-chan. Actually to a lot of other people as well.

Now look here.I've hurt you many a times,without realising it.You've smiled in front of me,when you were actually hurting real bad inside,and I may have realised it,but brushed it off.I cannot tell you how sorry I am because of that.I have this weird habit of realising the importance of things,stuff at utterly insignificant times,such as now,and well..I'm an idiot. -__-


This is the biggest apology I owe you.You've been the best friend ever.And it's true.I do give a bit of my heart to another person out there,but it's not my fault!You see,everybody thinks that because I smile all the time,I have no problems,and I have all the time in the world to sit,and sort out their problems,instead of my own.It gets utterly frustrating at times,when I see people going all "Eeh Roop,this is so not like you!!" So what if it isn't?
We all have those days when we want to be someone different,for a change.

And you know why I love both of you so much?It's because both of you have accepted my emo,immature,selfish and frustrated side.
Yes,I cry.And you know what?I'm a depressed teen,I like to be girly,sometimes.It's not THAT bad turning into a girl,I hate it when people breach my defences,and betray me the next moment,hurt me like it doesn't even matter,and pretend that nothing happened the very next day.

I'm a girl,yes.I'm tomboyish most of the time,that has a history.Every (almost every) cousin of mine is MALE,and they've looked down on me since...well..ages.


So,you know,I turned out like this.It really hurts to be strong,and sometimes I cry out of sheer desperation.
Honestly,if you and Sunny weren't there,I think I'd go crazy.
I've wanted to die,honestly.But then I think about how I'll be hurting you guys if I leave you,and I think about living.
I live for you and him.So I need you there.So,please,please I beg you.

That's enough ranting for now.I won't bother you anymore. :)