Sometimes I really wonder WHY.

I went to attend the annual gradation tests yesterday,and I was sitting there minding my own business,when the door to the greenroom swings open,and I see HIM standing there.

One glance.One glance,and this stupid heart of mine couldn't control itself.BAM.
I fell(Read: again)for the very same person who dumped me for his studies.

YES.His studies.

Was somewhat like this.

*One glance*

*face promptly heats up*

I tried telling myself that I was over him,and he didn't matter anymore.

Then,my conscience decided to butt in.

On top of that,he sat two seats next to me,initiated the conversation,and kept turning his head and looking at me every two minutes.And looked away when I caught him looking.

I mean,what the hell.You're supposed to STAY AWAY from me,so you don't get uncomfortable.

SO much for trying to avoid him,and indirectly,my feelings.

We ended up eating lunch together,on the stairs,'cause there was no room inside.He could've checked and gone upstairs and taken his seat.But NO,he chose to sit with me.

Why?Why is he doing this?

I fell hard.He's perfect for me.I love everything about him,from his carefree attitude,to his flippant remarks,to his weird flat thumbs,to his scrawly signature..and..you get the point here.

Knowing that I can't have him,it's so painful.SO damn painful.

And then the storm kicked in.It was exhilarating,truly beautiful.But what the rain did was just this.It just brought all those happy memories back.

I cried myself to sleep last night,knowing I can't have him.


Today,we saw each other.Again.

And yes,he kept staring at me.

I was trying to ignore him,but then at this one point our eyes met and he promptly shifted his gaze.

FINE.I decided to completely ignore him.


Then he comes and decides to snap his fingers under my face after the program's over.What an arse.

We just talked for two minutes,that's all.

Thank god.

BUT.WHY?

Will be the question,for this lifetime.